Picking Up Leaves

This post will be a bit longer than my previous two.  It involves that yearly job of cleaning up the leaves from the yard.

Before I begin, let me start by saying that in order to do this, I disable the Dead-man switch on my lawn mower.  I will show you how I do this.  However, THIS IS DANGEROUS this switch is a SAFETY FEATURE of your lawn mower, use this tip with caution and use this tip AT YOUR OWN RISK.  Think before you do this, if you’re reading this because you’re like me, YOU CAN’T AFFORD TO LOSE ANY MORE BODY PARTS!

OK, disclaimer aside, let’s pick up some leaves, shall we?

So I don’t manually rake my yard.  Power tools baby! OO OO OO!  (That’s my best Tim Allen impression deal with it!)

Here’s a list of tools:

• My Leaf Blower
• My Lawn Mower
• A Cable Cuff
• 4 A Clamps
• A Garbage Pail
• A Rake with Easi Grip handles and Arm Cuff (Available on Amazon)
• A yard cart for moving the gear and full bags of leaves around

So here on Long Island the local blowhards… err… politicians require that we bag our leaves.  So that is what we must do.

I use a leaf blower to blow the leaves in to piles.  Mine is a gas blower. So obviously I have to gas it up first.  Since it’s a pain in the ass to tip the gas can up one handed, I use a fuel siphon.  Mine is the fancy powered one that uses a D Battery, but you can use the manual ones too.

The Battery units are available at your favorite big box hardware store for about $15 bucks.

And the manual ones are about $7

So to start the blower, I place my left foot on the bottom of the blower and my right on the top to hold it down while I pull the starter. You’ll have to modify this technique for your equipment.

The only difference between blowing the leaves as an amputee and blowing leaves before I was an amputee, is that now I have to put my beer down while I blow the leaves.  So I won’t spell out how to get them in to a pile, you should be able to figure that part out.

However, I do use a rake to get in the corners and in the tight spots.  Here’s a close up of the rake handle with the Easi Grip on it.  This is the only “accessibility” aid I use for leaves.

So once you get the leaves in to a pile, it’s time to pick them up.  I use my lawn mower as a leaf vacuum.  Most modern lawn mowers have a bar that if you let go will shut the mower off, this is the Dead-man switch.  Well lets just say trying to use that bar and start the mower all with one hand is an exercise in futility that leads to teaching the neighborhood kids some new four letter vocabulary words!

So to get the mower started with as few colorful words as possible, I use a Cable Cuff to clamp the Dead-man switch in the run position.  This little bugger is about $3 bucks at your favorite purveyor of tools and yard equipment.

Reminder: DOING THIS IS DANGEROUS SO DON’T BE A DUMBASS! Pay attention and keep all fingers and toes (that you have left) away from the exposed moving parts!

Here’s a picture of the Cable Cuff holding the Dead-man switch closed.

Next just run the lawn mower over your leaf pile until the bag fills.  The next step is to take a leaf bag and put it in a garbage pail, using the A clamps to hold the bag open.

I pre-stage the A clamps on the pail as I open the bag and drop it in.  Then, to get it started, I’ll hold the edge of the bag against the top of the pail with my stomach while I clamp the A clamp on the bag. I then work my way around the top.

Now just take the bag off the lawn mower, doing this will depend on your equipment, for my lawn mower, I use my right knee to hold the spring loaded door open and then use my left and only hand to remove the bag. I set the bag down and lean the bag on my left shin to move my hand around the handle to lift it up.

Here’s a picture of me doing that:

Ok got that? No? What do you mean no? OK…  I got you..  Here’s a YouTube Video of me doing that in action….

So now you have the leaves in the bag, now what, how do you get them tied up and to the curb?

Well I’m glad you asked.  (Bear with me as this was hard to photograph, you will be rewarded with video at the end, I promise)

Start by getting a twist tie and holding it in your mouth.  Then take the A clamps off the bag and gather the bag at the top.

While holding the top of the bag closed, tip the garbage pail on its side. (There is already a tie on the bag just for this picture, at this point you won’t have one on yet)

While holding the bag closed (so you don’t dump any leaves), place your foot on he garbage pail (As a lefty, my right foot is better).

Then drag the bag out of the can.

Next, you’ll reverse your hand on the top of the bag and spin it to twist the bag closed. (Watch the video if this doesn’t make sense)

After taking it for a twirl, pinch the top of the bag between your legs and using the twist tie in your mouth tie the bag closed.

Repeat as necessary until done with the leaves in the yard!

So here’s how that looks in a video:

I’ll leave the bags where they lay around the yard as I bag and then use my garden cart to haul them to the curb.

The bags at the curb..

My neighbor’s yard:

And My yard… Can you say “anal” boys and girls, I’ll bet you can!